Good News at a Doctor’s Appointment

Guess what!!!!……

Friday I had a cancer doctor appointment. Everything looked great, but I got so excited when…… Arlene, my mom, and I talked about getting my Port out!!!!! Talk about EXCITING!!!!

My Family is Always There to Help Me No Matter What

I used to have a hard time with thinking I was a burden on my family during my cancer journey. I thought because they had to do the majority of things for me I was being a burden. Due to me being sick a lot from treatment an developing AVN, I needed assistance for many things. Sometimes, I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed I was so sick or hurting so badly. My family was always there, though. Looking back I don’t understand why I would or could ever think that! My family loves me so much and would do anything for me. They may get tired of me calling for them every couple minutes for help, but they are happy to help me. They have been by my side throughout this entire journey. I just want everyone going through anything to know,  you are not a burden! The people who are helping you are there because they want to be and they care about you. The devil just wants you to think you aren’t good enough to get all the love and help you are receiving. He wants you to push everyone away. God says, “NO, you are my child and you deserve this help and you are NOT a burden!”

Now, whenever I start having thoughts about being a burden I say:
“I am NOT a burden. I need to let people help me. If they ask me if I need help I should say YES. Or if I need help I need to ASK! My family is here to HELP ME and I need to let them. God gave me such an amazing family for a reason; to be there for me, help me, and to love me. I am NOT a burden!”

Faith in the Storm

I was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia on February 20, 2013. It was a huge shock. The Thursday before I was at the pediatrician and two doctors fought over whether my spleen was large or if I had a lot of muscle. I was in a lot of pain. They said it was just growing pain – I don’t blame them for not knowing.

We were out of school for President’s weekend. When my parents came home I told them I ate but barely took a bite of food. My mom said I had to eat and gave me a small late of food. After I ate, I went to sit on the couch and screamed in pain. My side was hurting and I couldn’t breathe. I was literally in tears. My dad took me to the ER at Sunrise but, it was packed so we drove all the way to Southern Hills Hospital. They drew blood, took my weight, height and symptoms. I was very fatigued, couldn’t breath correctly and lost 20 pounds in a month. They got me set up in a room. I dozed off and was woken up to a nurse trying to move me to another gurney to be transported to Sunrise by ambulance. My mom came in just they were putting in an ER room. The doctor said did he tell you the L word. My mom looked at my dad confused. My dad was convinced it wasn’t that but, it was. I was transferred to the pediatric oncology floor. That night was rough. I was on oxygen and every time I moved I was hurting and screaming in pain. One of my lungs was partially collapsed the other filled with fluid and my spleen enlarged.

The next morning my parents told me the diagnosis. I was overwhelmed with emotions. Being diagnosed with cancer was something I never thought could happen. When I found out it was cancer that was making me so sick I was extremely angry at God. I asked God “why me” several times. One day he came to me and told me that everything would be okay to place my faith in him. Another day He told my sister that I was the strongest one in my family to handle this.

Over the course of the next week, my port was placed (immediately) and chemo was started. I also had a bone marrow and lumbar puncture procedure.

I have gotten on my knees many times and just cried to Him for help. He has been by my side and carries me when I am weak. Through this journey he has taught me faith, trust and to lean on him in my time of need because he is my strength. When I am struck with worry and doubt, I give it all to him and try to remain in faith. The verse that I live by everyday is Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Even though this is a storm I am going through I have been blessed to wake up every morning and praise Him. With God I am finding the joy in this storm.