It ‘s Okay Not to Be Okay

So, I follow twin YouTubers named, The Dolan Twins. They are very funny and inspiring. They came out with a video on July 27, they were talking about not hiding your true feelings and acting happy when you are not.

The Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLEOLQsmX3s

It reminded me of when I used to dumb down my pain or act as if I was okay. At one point, I thought I had to be strong and be the inspiration everyone said I was. I used to feel like I was burdening people when I was in pain. Whenever I was in pain, I felt like if I said something I would ruin what we were doing. I realized that it was not good to do that. I also realized it is okay not to be okay, I am going to hurt sometimes, I am going to feel sick sometimes. I don’t know maybe it was just me who thought this way. I do want other people going through similar things or anything at all, to know that it is okay not be okay. It is okay if your not up to doing anything, its okay if you feel sick or are hurting. Don’t do what I did, for a while it caused issues. I had to figure out what I could take and use for my pain because I was hurting myself by not saying anything.

Just wanted to tell you guys this and give some advice..

An Inspiring Song

I was on YouTube the other day I came across a song called Rise Up by Andra Day, it came out  in 2015 Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwgr_IMeEgA .

It is very inspiring to me. One of the lyrics is, “I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache”. Everyday during treatment, I struggled to get out of bed, it hurt and I felt so sick. Even now, dealing with all the side effects from treatment, I don’t feel like getting up out of bed. Knowing I have my family right by me and God giving me strength each everyday helps me get up and fight through the day. I do want to say, you are not alone, you have my support. I have lost so many people through this journey, and I WILL RISE UP AND FIGHT FOR YOU AND THEM.

It’s Official…

So I had a doctors appointment with my knee doctor and we discussed whether or not I am going to have surgery. It’s official I will be having surgery on MY left knee during Christmas break, so I don’t miss any school. It is basically the same as last time, with my right knee. We still need to make the final decisions about if we’re going to use a graft or cement in my leg. Please continue to keep my family and I in your prayers as we make the final decision on what to use for this surgery.

California Trip

I first of all want to thank Nicole and Brian, close family friends, for taking us with you to California, Universal Studios and to flying.

This Summer, Nicole and Brian invited us to go with them to California for a trip. We went to Universal Studios, which by the way was amazing! I actually like it better than Disneyland, I would definitely go back. We went on quite a few rides, captured some moments with our cameras and made memories. I was so excited to go to Harry Potter Land, I love the movies and plan on reading the books. It was so cool to see all the different shops they had there. I really liked the butter beer, it was delicious. One of my favorite parts was that we got to spend time together and I got to see all the joy in everyone’s eyes. It was truly a fun time at Universal Studios. I want to thank Uncle Michael for all he did for us and spending the day with us.

We also got to fly!! That was all thanks to Jim Churchman and his crew. You can go to facebook and his website to read fully what he is all about..  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheSmileHighClub/  Website: https://www.smilehighclubinc.com/                                                                    He helped us all fly like superheros.. His mission is to “make you fly like the superhero you already are, we can create smiles and memories that will last forever.” from his website. He put us on a belly board and made us fly, he also can hook you up in your wheelchair and can make you fly. It was so much fun and really put a smile on my face. For a child or anyone going through treatment this is a way to take your mind off your treatments and put a smile on your face. I think it was really cool because my brother was really hesitant at first but then Jim talked to him and got him to do it in the wheel chair. He was tense at first but he loosened up and enjoyed himself, each time he went faster and faster.  I love what he is doing and I thank him for giving us this experience, I truly enjoyed myself. I hope guys go check them out and donate if you can.

We also got to go to the Santa Monica Pier! I have never been and it was so much fun. We rode lots of rides, took some pictures and had some snacks. I had a great time.

Shoulder Doctor Appointment

On July 7, 2017 I went to see Dr. Kam, the doctor who did my half shoulder replacement. I first want to say he is an amazing doctor and I am so thankful to him.

We talked about my range of motion since I last seen him, since I haven’t been in PT, he said it is better than last time. I wasn’t sure if it was because of not being in PT. We also talked about how long ago my surgery was, which is 1 year as of June 24. I am so proud of the progress I have made. We have now worked up to seeing him once a year, of course we can come in sooner if needed. Most of all, I am so proud of my progress. This surgery has taken away my pain, besides a little pain ever so often, and now I can move it without hurting. I thank my family for being by my side through all of this. I also thank God for helping make the decision to go forward with all of that as well as him put his hands on the nurses and surgeons.

Maybe by the next time I need another shoulder replacement, we will some new things we don’t have now..

I Passed!!!!/My One Year

On June 24,

I went to the DMV to take my permit test. I have taken before and failed by just a little bit, so I was so nervous and anxious. BUT GUESS WHAT!! I passed, I am so proud of myself. I really owe thanks to my family for believing in me, because I really wasn’t sure if I could do this..

Also, June 24th marked my one year after my shoulder replacement surgery. I am so thankful to Dr. Kam for all he has done for me. He is an amazing doctor. An I am so thankful to have had him as my doctor.

 

Image result for yay

Camp Independent Firefly ’17

Camp this year was so amazing! It was my third year going to CIF and I honestly think this was the best year for me. I am so thankful to the people put this on and make all the things we get to do possible. I am so many amazing friends this year and got to see some old friends and counselors. I am kinda sad that I am graduating next year, but I definitely want to be an LIT.

Again thank you to everyone who made this possible! I had so much fun this year and its thanks to so many amazing people!

It’s Finally Over

I still can’t believe that this 2016/2017 school year has come to a close. I feel like it went by fast but also slow at the same time (if that makes any sense). Today June 8, 2017 was our last day of school! I am going to be a Junior next year and I am going to be 17 in October. Man, where has the time gone…… I can’t wait to see what the future holds as my last two years of high school approach.

This week (Monday-Thursday), we had exams. I have been working my butt of to get here today. I am so proud of what I have accomplished.

Now it’s time to enjoy summer!

Image result for end of school year 2017

Image result for happy summer

Coming to the End

It seems as if this school year has come to an end very quickly. This year I struggled a bit in the beginning, but I have almost made it through. I have overcome and accomplished so much this year, it is amazing. I am so proud of myself for making it this far! It has been a pretty good year…. I thank all my teachers for working with me. I thank them for coming to school everyday and teaching me new things. I thank them for their patience. I can’t wait to see what next year holds for me. We have less than a month less including exams! I can’t believe it almost over! I am in disbelief that I will be a Junior in high school next school year. I will also be 17 in October. Where has the time gone? It is crazy how time flies….

Although, I am very excited to be going to camp when school ends … I didn’t go last year due having my shoulder replaced. I took that time to heal and rest. This year I am back in action and ready to go to camp.

end of school photo

 

What’s been going on lately?

Lately, I have been really good. I went a week without a fentanyl patch without having any shakes, or nausea/vomiting. I am also learning the limits of my arm. I noticed that if I put pressure on my arm or lean on it for a certain period of time, it starts to hurt. I am becoming used to dealing with my arm and finding its limits. I have been working on knowing my limits and figuring what positions work best for me.

One thing, I am really excited about is the photos I have been taking in photography class. One even got put into an art gallery at school last week. I am so proud of all of them because I worked so hard to photograph and edit them.  Here are some examples of some pictures I took and setup:

IMG_9839 (1)

IMG_0005 (1)

IMG_9739

I am so happy with the photos I have taken. I have at least a hundred more photos I have taken and edited. I love photography class! Even though school ends soon, I would like to buy my own camera and computer so I can photograph and edit more. I am definitely going to stick with photography. An if I am going to be a Fashion Designer, I can take photos of my creations and designs.