A Huge Thank You

I want to say a huge thank you my new friend Denise Truscello. My family and I had a photo shoot with her for Evening of Hope (she is an amazing photographer by the way). I ended up talking to her about how I take fashion and photography in school right now. Also, how I wanted to major in fashion with a minor in photography  because they kind of go hand in hand. We then had a long conversation about photography and cameras. Towards the end of our conversation, she offered to give me a camera. Which I was in shock and so thankful because cameras are pretty expensive. We met up about a week later to get the camera and have a quick lesson on how to use the different aspects of it. An not only did she give me a camera, but she gave me a flash for it, SD cards and flash drives, an entire lighting kit, camera bag, a monopod, and more. It was such a blessing. I then got to take a couple pictures of her and her client that was there at the time (which I think came out great!). I am gonna start taking lots of photos and she is going to help me build my portfolio. I am so thankful to her for all of the stuff she gave me! An I can’t wait to start displaying my work! God is so good!!!!

A Surprise Visit

Since before school went on break, my best friend Hailey has been saying that she is going to come visit me after surgery. Well, yesterday 12/27, she did! She asked for my address again a couple days before, but she wouldn’t tell me when she was coming. Yesterday around 10ish she knocked on my door asking if I was awake. I was wide awake after that, it definitely made my day! She brought me flowers and takis. She then painted my nails, we just chatted, and watched TV and movies together. As well as, dabbled with some makeup. It was just amazing having her here! She even bought pizza, which she didn’t have to do. We pretty mush spent half the day together from 10-3. Honestly, I just want to thank you so so so much Hailey, for coming to see me! You are an amazing friend. You brightened up my day!25995037_887441304751416_6632159341318041593_n26055674_887441344751412_7397821230263661368_n26112328_887441331418080_4961031386153385793_n

*Surgery Update*

Sorry I have been absent for a couple days, I have been recovering from surgery. By the way, everything went amazing! For those who don’t know why I had surgery, I will explain..

Because of the cancer treatments and steroids they gave me, I got something called a vascular necrosis. Which essentially means my bones are dying. I have it in both my knees and my shoulder. In 2015, we had a bone graph done on my right knee. This winter, they did the exact same thing on my left knee. And then,  my shoulder ended up collapsing so we had to replace it in 2016.

Back to the surgery update.. I have been doing well since surgery. I am on a pain plan to help combat surgery pain as well as my regular pain. Although, my foot and my ankle are pretty swollen. We talked to the doctor and we are elevating it in a different way now that should help as well as icing. If it gets worse though, we will go to the ER straight away. But as of right now, we are working with our first plan.

Another thing I wanted to say was thank you for all your guys constant prayers and support. I feel as your guys love! Thank you so so so much! PLEASE continue to pray for a speedy recovery and healing.

Fly High

Taylor Hammond, my best friend and my little brother, you are gone but will never be forgotten. The way you lived your life was truly inspiring. Even on your roughest days you had a smile on your face. You had such a positive outlook on the world. I hope to live my life the way you did, never taking for granted everyday I am given.

I remember the conversations we had and the laughs we shared, I will cherish those moments forever. You had such a big heart and a larger than life personality. It hurts that your gone, but I know that you aren’t suffering anymore. I now have another angel to watch over me. I cry because I loved you.

I am tired of losing my friends to this monster called childhood cancer. An like all the others, I don’t want Taylor to JUST be apart of the “this many kids lost their battle this year” statistic. I want this to be fixed, we need to a cure. We haven’t been fighting all these years for nothing. His life and legacy means something. ALL of these kids lives mean something. We will keep fighting for a cure in their honor. And keep fighting for those who are currently in battle.

 

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I Am Struggling

I need some prayer right now. I am two years out of treatment and I am feeling sick and unwell. I’ve been going through this for 5 years now. An for the past few months its been hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am struggling. I am not in the best head space right now and I’m tired mentally and emotionally. I have fought for so long, its just seems like a never ending thing. An sometimes I feel like no one really listens, there are so many kids to worry about that I feel like I get lost in crowd. I just need you to pray that I can get out of this place I’m in right now. I would really appreciate it..
Alyssa Marie 💜

School Update

So this year, I am a Junior in High School. I don’t know why, but I just realized how fast senior year and then graduation is approaching. For the past few months, I have been looking at some Universities, mainly ones that have fashion programs. My top pick is FIDM – Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising. For approximately, a month and a half now, I have been speaking with a lady named, Peggy Quayle, who is the Director of Admissions. She has been helping learn and prepare possible scholarship opportunities and early advantages I could have. Which for me is super exciting. If I keep my grades and GPA up, I could be excepted into the Junior Advantage program, which is where you basically get to experience the FIDM student life before college begins. I am also looking at being president or vice president of the Fashion Club at my school. One because I love it and two because I could get some amazing scholarships.  I have also been working very hard on my grades because honestly, at the beginning, my grades weren’t that great. I would have very bad anxiety attacks at school and due to that, I would miss school quite a bit. Now, I am doing better and getting everything on track. In fact, on my recent report card, I had only one C and the rest were A’s & B’s.

To be honest, God is just moving everything into place. I know God has a plan and I trust in Him to execute it. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for me.

It ‘s Okay Not to Be Okay

So, I follow twin YouTubers named, The Dolan Twins. They are very funny and inspiring. They came out with a video on July 27, they were talking about not hiding your true feelings and acting happy when you are not.

The Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLEOLQsmX3s

It reminded me of when I used to dumb down my pain or act as if I was okay. At one point, I thought I had to be strong and be the inspiration everyone said I was. I used to feel like I was burdening people when I was in pain. Whenever I was in pain, I felt like if I said something I would ruin what we were doing. I realized that it was not good to do that. I also realized it is okay not to be okay, I am going to hurt sometimes, I am going to feel sick sometimes. I don’t know maybe it was just me who thought this way. I do want other people going through similar things or anything at all, to know that it is okay not be okay. It is okay if your not up to doing anything, its okay if you feel sick or are hurting. Don’t do what I did, for a while it caused issues. I had to figure out what I could take and use for my pain because I was hurting myself by not saying anything.

Just wanted to tell you guys this and give some advice..

An Inspiring Song

I was on YouTube the other day I came across a song called Rise Up by Andra Day, it came out  in 2015 Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwgr_IMeEgA .

It is very inspiring to me. One of the lyrics is, “I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache”. Everyday during treatment, I struggled to get out of bed, it hurt and I felt so sick. Even now, dealing with all the side effects from treatment, I don’t feel like getting up out of bed. Knowing I have my family right by me and God giving me strength each everyday helps me get up and fight through the day. I do want to say, you are not alone, you have my support. I have lost so many people through this journey, and I WILL RISE UP AND FIGHT FOR YOU AND THEM.

It’s Official…

So I had a doctors appointment with my knee doctor and we discussed whether or not I am going to have surgery. It’s official I will be having surgery on MY left knee during Christmas break, so I don’t miss any school. It is basically the same as last time, with my right knee. We still need to make the final decisions about if we’re going to use a graft or cement in my leg. Please continue to keep my family and I in your prayers as we make the final decision on what to use for this surgery.