It’s So Much More

August 1st I have an appointment to take my drivers test. I don’t think people or my parents really understand why I stress over it the way I do. Yes every teen wants to get there license super badly but for me it’s more than just being able to drive myself around “whenever” I want.

To be honest, I never thought I would be able to get a license and drive myself places. My shoulder had collapsed due to my cancer treatments leaving it pretty much useless to me until I could get surgery. Now even after surgery I don’t have much outward rotation which discouraged me when thinking of driving. I also had AVN in both of my legs. I was in and out of a wheelchair for a good portion of the last 5 years. Being in those states made me feel helpless like I was never gonna be able to do things for myself that I would always need assistance in some way or another. Since this last surgery in December, I have slowly working my way into doing things for myself and being independent. It all boils down to me wanting to be able to do things for myself. And a part of it is also not feeling like a burden. I struggled with that numerous times throughout treatment. Although, I have been told numerous times that I am no where near a burden, I still struggle.

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