Wheelchair Rant

I strongly dislike being in this electric wheelchair!!! All I want to do is walk! Many people take something as simple as walking for granted. I’m tired of being in this chair. I just want to walk around school, to the store, to the park etc. I want to get my strength back and walk. I am bound to this chair and I don’t like it. Due to the AVN caused by the steroids and Cancer treatments I can’t walk long distances. I don’t like being in a wheelchair. I want to walk anywhere and everywhere like everyone else. It is so simple, but so important to me. At almost 16 years old (In October) I feel like I shouldn’t have to deal with this.

Even though this post is short, thank you for letting me rant about how I feel.

A Wonderful Night

I am so thankful for the people in my life that are pouring into me and encouraging me! Tonight, a very special someone did just that.

A friend of mine named, Krystal, asked if I would like to hang out with her and I said, “Yes!” We went to Starbucks and had some coffee and tea and just talked. She really poured into me tonight! I really appreciated it! I have been going through some things emotionally and in my walk with Christ. She really gave me some great advice when talking to me. When we talked I was vulnerable and honest about what was going on. I cried and just let it out, and I am thankful for her being there for me to do that. She has such a beautiful heart and is an amazing woman! Thank you Krystal for the stories, especially the personal stories and advice you shared with me! Again, thanks for pouring into me and being real and open with me! It was such a nice time to talk and be real with someone in person, to talk face to face.

Krystal, you have a special place in my heart and am grateful to have met you! I can’t wait to hang out again! I hope I can pour into you and tell you how amazing you are just like you did for me. I love you!! An I am so thankful for a sister in Christ like you! ??

Let’s Be Real-Sharing My Feelings

So I’m just going to be real, everything isn’t all sunshine and rainbows as it may seem. I am may seem so brave and strong, but truth be told I’m not always that strong girl. Honestly, I am tired and frustrated right now. I am sick and tired of cancer! I may be done with treatment, but now I will have long term side effects for the rest of my life. Chemotherapy killed the cancer, but now I am stuck with fixing everything it messed up. I am frustrated with everything I have to endure and go through. I am tired of being in pain and taking pain medication. It wears down  my body. I have been through so much and don’t want to go through anything else. I feel like no one understands, my family gets it but at the same time doesn’t get it. Even though they don’t always get it, I thank them for their support. Whenever there is a teen scene with Candlelighters, I am not feeling well or worn out. I really need to talk to other teens that have been through what I have been through.

Right now, I really need prayer! I don’t want to go into a deep depression over this. I just really need you guys to pray for me right now. I am just going through some things. Your prayers are so greatly appreciated! I know God will help me through this, I just need to have faith in him.