Sorry I have been absent for a couple days, I have been recovering from surgery. By the way, everything went amazing! For those who don’t know why I had surgery, I will explain..
Because of the cancer treatments and steroids they gave me, I got something called a vascular necrosis. Which essentially means my bones are dying. I have it in both my knees and my shoulder. In 2015, we had a bone graph done on my right knee. This winter, they did the exact same thing on my left knee. And then, my shoulder ended up collapsing so we had to replace it in 2016.
Back to the surgery update.. I have been doing well since surgery. I am on a pain plan to help combat surgery pain as well as my regular pain. Although, my foot and my ankle are pretty swollen. We talked to the doctor and we are elevating it in a different way now that should help as well as icing. If it gets worse though, we will go to the ER straight away. But as of right now, we are working with our first plan.
Another thing I wanted to say was thank you for all your guys constant prayers and support. I feel as your guys love! Thank you so so so much! PLEASE continue to pray for a speedy recovery and healing.
Lately, my shoulder has been hurting because I pushed it too far. I think I was rushing things and taking my time to properly stretch it out. It doesn’t help that I don’t go to PT because of some issues. I am left on my own to work it out and have been pushing it too far. I just need to slow down and take it one day at a time. I was so worried that I messed something in my shoulder up, but I grabbed a verse (from my scripture jar a friend made me) that reminded of something. It reads, “The LORD, your God will be with you always. Joshua 1:9” I know God will take care of me. He will never leave me. He knows my pain and he gives me the strength to get through it. HE isn’t only the God of my triumphs, but the God of my struggles as well.
So I’m just going to be real, everything isn’t all sunshine and rainbows as it may seem. I am may seem so brave and strong, but truth be told I’m not always that strong girl. Honestly, I am tired and frustrated right now. I am sick and tired of cancer! I may be done with treatment, but now I will have long term side effects for the rest of my life. Chemotherapy killed the cancer, but now I am stuck with fixing everything it messed up. I am frustrated with everything I have to endure and go through. I am tired of being in pain and taking pain medication. It wears down my body. I have been through so much and don’t want to go through anything else. I feel like no one understands, my family gets it but at the same time doesn’t get it. Even though they don’t always get it, I thank them for their support. Whenever there is a teen scene with Candlelighters, I am not feeling well or worn out. I really need to talk to other teens that have been through what I have been through.
Right now, I really need prayer! I don’t want to go into a deep depression over this. I just really need you guys to pray for me right now. I am just going through some things. Your prayers are so greatly appreciated! I know God will help me through this, I just need to have faith in him.