Lately, my shoulder has been hurting because I pushed it too far. I think I was rushing things and taking my time to properly stretch it out. It doesn’t help that I don’t go to PT because of some issues. I am left on my own to work it out and have been pushing it too far. I just need to slow down and take it one day at a time. I was so worried that I messed something in my shoulder up, but I grabbed a verse (from my scripture jar a friend made me) that reminded of something. It reads, “The LORD, your God will be with you always. Joshua 1:9” I know God will take care of me. He will never leave me. He knows my pain and he gives me the strength to get through it. HE isn’t only the God of my triumphs, but the God of my struggles as well.
As of February 20th, it has been 4 years since my diagnosis of Pre-B cell ALL Leukemia.
I would like to thank my family for always being by my side fighting this battle with me. This diagnosis didnt onmy affect me, but the closest people around me as well.
I also want to thank God for guiding ne and giving me the strength to fight the battle.
Without God and my family by my side, I dont know how I would be able to handle this.
Yesterday, I came home from school and my mom said she had something for me. She pointed to T.V. stand where there was a clear bag. I was confused about what it was until, I realized that it was……MY PORT! I was so excited! It is a memory I get to keep. It symbolizes all I have went through and the end of a part of my journey. IT IS SO AMAZING! God is good, and I am so thankful that he has been by my side. As well as giving me my family to walk this journey with me.
Yay! My port is out! I went in yesterday afternoon for the surgery. I was a bit nervous, but the excitement took over. This is a huge step in my journey! It to me, signifies the end, like the real end. I am so happy and thankful to all the people who have walked this journey with me. An the people who have encouraged me and lifted me up. Everyone who has fought right along side me, especially my family who has never left me! All the glory goes to God! In him anything is possible, you just need to believe and put your faith in him! “I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME.” Philippians 4:13
Pictures – (top: after surgery; bottom: before surgery with a stuffed animal the lady who got me settled gave me)
So I know you guys probably read my Wheelchair Raint a little while back, I have an update on that.
For the past 3 weeks I have been walking in school and not using the wheelchair. My wheelchair went out the Sunday before the day I was supposed to go to school. It just gave out. I decided that I would just walk around the school but use the elevator. I wasn’t going to push myself, but I knew I could do it. After the frst day,I felt great. My parents found someone that xould fix the chair but I wanted to walk. I told them I’d pray over it and see what I wanted to do. I felt God telling me to do it amd not to limit myself. That I needed to trust in him and myself, not to doubt him or let anyone doubt me. Ever since then, I have been walking in school. A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR ME!!
Yesterday, I have had my 6 week after surgery appointment with Dr. Kam. He previously told us after 6 weeks out from my replacement I wouldn’t have to wear the brace anymore and we would get new orders for physical therapy.
When we went to my appointment yesterday he said that I don’t need the brace anymore, except for when school starts to make people more aware. He also said I can start to move it just no pushing, pulling, lifting, or putting it behind my back. He gave us some new protocol to follow for physical therapy. He helped me active assistively move my arm. At the end of the visit, we looked at the x-rays he had taken when we got there. My shoulder replacement looks amazing, everything is lining up properly and nothing is hurt or damaged. It looks really nice and clean.
I am so thankful for all the people who have supported me and helped me get through this. Especially, with all I have been dealing with lately. I am so happy with all my progress I have made. I have been working hard and trying to not push myself but not slack off at the same time. I thank God for supporting and being by my side and letting me never lose faith.
Here is an update on physical therapy and how it is going.
I am making a lot of progress in physical therapy. I have stopped gaurding and have let loose. I get into my head when i am at physical therapy and start to tighten up.
Today though, I did really great! My motion up to 90° is doing great! My shoulder is healing well and my motion is doing well. My degree measurement is almost at 90° at all angles which is a huge accomplishment. My pain level has also decreased and I am not taking as much pain medicine. I am so thankful for that.
I am so proud of myself for working so hard! I thank God for helping me work through this. I also thank Natalie and Morgan for working with me at physical therapy. They make physical therapy so much fun. He is my strength and has been getting me through all of this. I have to just keep my faith in him as I gi through this. I also thank my family for supporting me. They are always encouraging me.
So I’m just going to be real, everything isn’t all sunshine and rainbows as it may seem. I am may seem so brave and strong, but truth be told I’m not always that strong girl. Honestly, I am tired and frustrated right now. I am sick and tired of cancer! I may be done with treatment, but now I will have long term side effects for the rest of my life. Chemotherapy killed the cancer, but now I am stuck with fixing everything it messed up. I am frustrated with everything I have to endure and go through. I am tired of being in pain and taking pain medication. It wears down my body. I have been through so much and don’t want to go through anything else. I feel like no one understands, my family gets it but at the same time doesn’t get it. Even though they don’t always get it, I thank them for their support. Whenever there is a teen scene with Candlelighters, I am not feeling well or worn out. I really need to talk to other teens that have been through what I have been through.
Right now, I really need prayer! I don’t want to go into a deep depression over this. I just really need you guys to pray for me right now. I am just going through some things. Your prayers are so greatly appreciated! I know God will help me through this, I just need to have faith in him.
Hey guys! I am so sorry I am updating so late. It has been crazy since I got out of the hospital. I have been on heavy medicine, which causes me to sleep a lot.
I have been doing well though. The surgery was a success and everything went well. Thanks to Dr. Kam, my amazing doctor and surgeon. I am now two weeks out from surgery. I started physical therapy right away, only doing passive movements. Which means I can’t move my arm by myself.
For a little back story; due to the AVN the steroids and cancer treatments caused, I had to under go surgery. From the AVN, my shoulder began to collapse. It had went so far that my last two options were having a half shoulder replacement or using a cadaver. So, knowing this I prayed about it. After praying for a week or so, I felt like God was telling me to continue with the shoulder replacement.
Through this process, I thank God for helping me through this journey so far and being by my side! He gives me the strength to get through everything I have gone through. Just like my bible verse that helped me through my cancer, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” With God by my side I can do or go through anything! I would also like to thank everyone who has stood by my side and supported me! Especially my family, they have always been right by my side cheering me on. I am so thankful for that! They love me to death and I love them too! They do anything to cheer me up and put a smile on my face! Another person whose support I am thankful for is my best friend Natalie. Even though she lives many miles away in California, she supports me lots. Our talks help calm me down and know that I can get through this. I love her lots and am thankful for a bestie like her!
Even though, I am in remission cancer keeps showing up with all the issues and side effects it has caused. But I know I must keep fighting. With God on my side, who can be against me.