It Affects Us All

It isn’t just one person who goes through cancer, it’s the whole family. It affects us all. It tore me up and still tears my up having to see my family watch me suffer. Be in pain, not feeling well, throwing up, not seeing me weeks on end because I am in the hospital. It hurts. When I was first diagnosed my brother was in kindergarten and had half days. We would make the appointment late enough for him to come. He hated and still hates to see me poked and accessed. When he went to first grade, which is all day, it was hard on him. He knew when I would be going the clinic and would break down in class. He had an amazing teacher who would take him away and let him know everything will be okay an just comfort him. Eversince I finished treatment June 9, 2015 he always asks if my cancer is back. He is so worried. My sister was in fifth grade when I was diagnosed. After we found out, she was walking to school one day and she asked God, “Why?” She said God said that I am the toughest one to handle this and would bring our family closer. A couple kids said mean things about me having cancer which really hurt her. She was now missing her big sister because I was in the hospital for about a week or so. My dad had just started a new job. How amazing they were to let him take time off to be with his family. He was now our provider and was so strong for us. My heart hurts for all the other families also.  My moms job let her take a leave to take care of me. She then went back a couple weeks after I was home from the hospital. It was a lot having both parents working and getting to appointments so my dad told her to stay home and take care of me and my siblings.

It was so hard on all of them and I know it. Having to see their baby girl, daughter, big sister going through this. Cancer affects everyone. We all come together and cry with each other and talk with each other if we need it. We pray together. We are a family! An we are here for each other no matter what in any situation.

The Side Effects

I battled cancer, ALL Leukemia, for two and a half years. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through!

The chemo and steroids did have minor side effects. For example, mouth sores, mood swings and being nauseous, etc. But, there are long term side effects that I have even after I finished chemo. From the steroids I now have a vascular necrosis in both knees and my left shoulder. My shoulder is collapsed. My only options are leave the shoulder as is or do the shoulder replacement and use the smallest one possible.

Lately, I have been in constant unbearable pain and nothing helps. I am on heaving medication and that isn’t helping. I can’t sleep and my pain is 10/10 all of the time.

A couple weeks ago I went to my clinic, Children’s Specialty Center (CSC), for an infusion. The infusion is to stop any further deterioration of my bones. It was a three day infusion over four hours. I am praying it works. If it does I will get it every four months.

I know God has plans for me and I will keep standing in my faith, trusting in his plan. God  is my healer and I will cry out to him in my pain because I know he will heal me. Please pray for me. There is power in prayer.