Good News at a Doctor’s Appointment

Guess what!!!!……

Friday I had a cancer doctor appointment. Everything looked great, but I got so excited when…… Arlene, my mom, and I talked about getting my Port out!!!!! Talk about EXCITING!!!!

Wheelchair Rant

I strongly dislike being in this electric wheelchair!!! All I want to do is walk! Many people take something as simple as walking for granted. I’m tired of being in this chair. I just want to walk around school, to the store, to the park etc. I want to get my strength back and walk. I am bound to this chair and I don’t like it. Due to the AVN caused by the steroids and Cancer treatments I can’t walk long distances. I don’t like being in a wheelchair. I want to walk anywhere and everywhere like everyone else. It is so simple, but so important to me. At almost 16 years old (In October) I feel like I shouldn’t have to deal with this.

Even though this post is short, thank you for letting me rant about how I feel.

Let’s Be Real-Sharing My Feelings

So I’m just going to be real, everything isn’t all sunshine and rainbows as it may seem. I am may seem so brave and strong, but truth be told I’m not always that strong girl. Honestly, I am tired and frustrated right now. I am sick and tired of cancer! I may be done with treatment, but now I will have long term side effects for the rest of my life. Chemotherapy killed the cancer, but now I am stuck with fixing everything it messed up. I am frustrated with everything I have to endure and go through. I am tired of being in pain and taking pain medication. It wears down  my body. I have been through so much and don’t want to go through anything else. I feel like no one understands, my family gets it but at the same time doesn’t get it. Even though they don’t always get it, I thank them for their support. Whenever there is a teen scene with Candlelighters, I am not feeling well or worn out. I really need to talk to other teens that have been through what I have been through.

Right now, I really need prayer! I don’t want to go into a deep depression over this. I just really need you guys to pray for me right now. I am just going through some things. Your prayers are so greatly appreciated! I know God will help me through this, I just need to have faith in him.

My New Goal

For Junior year I want to set a goal for myself of walking into high school. I just want that experience of walking into high school. It is something that people take for granted, but for me it is a huge thing. Since the beginning of freshman year, I have used my electric wheelchair. Only walking around the classroom due to not being able to walk long distances. Even at the Baby Bulldog Breakfast for freshman-thatwas held before school started-I was in a wheelchair.

I want to set a goal, as far as strengthening goes for my next knee surgery. My next knee surgery will hopefully be next summer, after my half shoulder replacement surgery this summer. I want to do everything to heal properly and strengthen my knee to get to my goal. My goal is to be in the chair for the summer and the beginning of school. Although, after 4 months after school starts I would like to walk in with a walker. For me that is a huge experience. I will be praying for what God has in store. I will pray for strength in going through that process.

Walking is something all of us take for granted. When that is taken away or limited, you really realize how much you miss it and how wonderful it is. I want to experience walking into high school. Whether it be just walking in using a walker, walking in and then getting back in the chair, or walking in and not using anything I don’t care. Even if I have to wait until the end of the year or until Senior year, I will be thankful to walk into school because walking is a gift. So next time you see someone using a wheelchair, using crutches, using a walker, or anything else don’t give them a weird look. Wonder what it’s like to be in their shoes, offer to help them, or even open a door for them.

The necrosis, the steroids and chemotherapy caused, has temporarily taken away walking from me. I may be able to walk short distances, but I walk with pain almost every day, whether the pain is a 1 or a 10. It has taken my ability to take a hike, walk around the block, and so much more. I will not let it defeat me or get me down! I will rise up and work towards making those few steps into high school, into the grocery store, into the mall, around the block, etc.!

 

An Essay I Wrote for English

I wanted to share with you all the essay I wrote for English. We had to write an essay about an event that changed our lives.

My Essay:
There have been many life changing events in my life. Although, this one stood out to me the most. This event changed my life for the better, it made me so much stronger. My life changing event is when I went through a two and a half year cancer journey.

Finding out I had cancer was the most devastating news I have ever received. You notice the commercials asking you to donate to kids with cancer, but you never imagine it happening to you. Cancer is a serious disease, but you never think about it until you’re impacted.

On February 20th, 2013, I was diagnosed with a form of childhood leukemia. Before we found out, I had been sick all winter along with my siblings. We never suspected anything so serious. The Thursday before, I was at the doctors where they fought over whether my spleen was enlarged. They then came to the conclusion this it was just muscle and growing pains.
Earlier on the nineteenth, u had made food and take a bite. When my parents arrived home they noticed I hadn’t eaten. After that, my mom said, ” You need to eat, don’t get up until your done.” I did finish. When I went to sit down on the couch, I screamed bloody murder. I had sharp pain in my abdomen and was in tears. My dad had enough and drove me to the emergency room.

I awoke to paramedics moving me to another gurney to transport me to Sunrise. I was our of it, but still felt a sense of fear. When we arrived, my mother was waiting for us with fear in our eyes. My dad later showed up and a doctor came in. He asked my mom if my dad had told her the “L” word. She said no and asked him what he was talking about. My dad mumbles, “Leukemia, but it’s not that.” The doctor confirmed that it was that, but he didn’t know what kind. I was immediately hooked up to machines and moved to Pediactric Cancer floor. From there, my port was placed, I recieved blood and platelet transfusions, and started treatment.

This journey has taught me so much. It has taught me to always look to God for help. I also learned to always think positive. No matter what, I needed to be strong for not only myself, but for my family as well. I have always tried to be strong throughout this journey, I then realized I needed to give it to God. I have made a second family and so many new friends throughout this journey. So many people have told me that I am an inspiration and keep them going. I have grown so much closer to God throughout this journey. I am so thankful to have beat this!

This event is so near and dear to me. I have grown I much and am so thankful for that. An now I will be one year cancer free in June 10th! I am so thankful to all the people who have gotten me through this.

 

Shoulder Replacement Update

This week, Tuesday the 29th we went to see my shoulder doctor, Dr. Kam. From my bone doctor, we were told my shoulder is closed. So we went and seen Dr. Kam to let him know and see where we are going from here (surgery?).

If you guys haven’t read my post before about my shoulder I ‘ll give you a little background. I went through 2 1/2 years of cancer treatment for Pre-B Cell High Risk Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. The steroids and medicine have caused me AVN of both knees and my left shoulder. Due to the a vascular necrosis, my shoulder is pretty much destroyed. I now need a shoulder replacement.

I have been waiting for my growth plate to close so that I am at skeletal maturity and can go ahead with surgery. Well, now I am closed and ready for surgery. We talked about all the complications, what this journey will consist of, and what happens once I go down this road. It is a huge decision deciding to have a shoulder replacement, especially at my age. My huge deciding factor was pain relief.

I thank God over all for being with me through this journey and never leaving my side. I have prayed countless days and nights over what I should do and what is the best decision. I thank him for putting the right people and doctor in my life to take care of me. I am so thankful for my family for being by my side, always taking care of me, and loving me.